SHOULD I EVER GO TO THE GYM WHEN PEOPLE ARE HUNGRY? [written late Jan]

Life here...life as a missionary is full of confusion and challenges. So much is unclear.

I may have written on this before; but, without wishing to undermine God's work through us here or attempting to fully answer this question, it is an awkward thought that I continue to have.

I like to take lots of regular exercise; it's certainly good for my mind and body. So I was at the gym the other day. It's not LA Fitness, and is certainly much cheaper, but is a well equipped gym at KCC (a Scripture Union conference centre in our neighbourhood). The gym is on the second floor with the running machines in front of the windows, overlooking the street.

I was running and saw, out of the window, a man in the street looking up at me. His clothes were brown, his feet bare and his face had that roughness that comes from a hard life; and he was looking at me curiously. I don't know what he thought as he went on his way...but for me it was a familiar, uncomfortable, conscience-pricking moment. Well fed westerner in his sealed environment trying to optimise his fitness. Barefooted Burundian walking down the road; maybe with purpose, maybe not.

I think people at home assume that we know how to deal with this. That we know what the balance is...what the spiritually sound response is. That I know how to respond to the street children outside the fancy bakery.

The divide between the 'haves' and 'have nots' is impossible to get away from. I'm white, so I'm automatically let in, served first and sat at the front. I'm white, so I'm not asked to pay deposits, don't get stopped at the check points and am never asked to lift anything. Even the rain's not allowed to get me wet!

We talk too about living by faith financially...which we do in some sense. But I'll never forget someone saying to me that '...muzungus (white people) print money...'. Initially I dismissed this. But what would happen if we needed to fly to the UK tomorrow, get specialist healthcare or replace a computer? We'd pray...but we'd also make a call or send an email. The money would come. Mostly, the money always comes. I wonder how many Burundians could 'print' money like that?

I get preferential treatment, have the opportunity to optimise my lifestyle, have the same social circle as the UK and can 'print' money. Is this what being a missionary is?

'But life as a missionary is difficult, living overseas expensive and cross culture living stressfull'. Absolutely. It's the hardest thing I've done. It seems impossibly hard at times. But don't others have hard lives too?

'But you can't help if you're broken'. Definitely. But where do I find my strength?

I pray, I trust (sort of) and the Lord provides. But why do I get more?

We gave the workers in our house hampers and bonuses for Christmas...but we got more.

I'm simplifying the complex and making the difficult seem easy. God is doing amazing things through us and all of the missionaries here.

And please don't stop supporting us...we have big funding needs for May - August.

But I still struggle with the wealth gap.

Should I go to the gym when people are hungry? I think so...but I'm not always sure.

Waxey Hugs and Hamlet's Socks

It was half term when I started this, I was at the pool with the kids and they were jumping off this...

...so I thought it would be a good, and rare, time to write. Though perhaps more copy and paste rather than write; most of this is excerpts from blogs I never finished. My great unfinished works?

As usual, some prayer points up front:

- Please pray for violence free elections

- Please pray for successful English courses with the British Council

- Thank the Lord for all His blessings...

- ...and pray that we may better see them

- Please pray for our summer funding

WASHING HAMLET'S SOCKS

Life here is often surreal and last night was no exception. The Globe Theatre, London, are on a two year tour to perform Hamlet in every country in the world.

Recently it was Burundi's turn.

For two weeks, work and family life were supplemented by technical riders, conference calls and ticket sales. And, one Sunday, washing costumes.

Hamlet is barely mainstream in the UK...and it's distinctly niche here. So one evening, a mainly expat audience of about 240 (I haven't seen that many white people in one place for long time!) enjoyed some of the best theatre in the world. It was wonderful!

Not sure it had anything to do with our mission, but a real treat for those living along way from home.

CANDLELIT BREAKFASTS [written early Jan]

Over Christmas the power situation was awesome! 24 hour power...pretty much. This week we came back to earth with a BUMP. Getting back into the swing of things is hard enough...but getting up in the dark, with no power, can be pretty grim. Especially on a grey morning.

We have a generator, but it's too noisy for 5am. We have batteries, but I keep them to power our security lights and guard's station at night. So we started this morning with lamps; but soon it was obvious that this was not going to work. So I got out the candles; normally used for dark evenings when the generator is being serviced.

And wow! Such warm, friendly light. Much better than harsh glow of the electric lights. What a lovely way to start the day. A big waxy hug.

Candlelit breakfasts. Thank you God!

REGISTERING [written early Jan]

A definite source of anxiety continues to be the uncertainty that the elections bring. Up until now, it has been theoretical. But recently events have begun to turn...perhaps sooner than expected.

So we're planning, registering with embassies, putting in contingencies and having a lot of meetings.

It's hard to find a positive with this. As a family, and as a school, there are so many scenarios that create a lot of doubt. When will we be back in the UK? How long for? What will Term 3 look like? Will I be separated from the family? Will we make the right decisions? This list could really go on....

...but I should be grateful for wisdom (no pun intended). For all the uncertainty, we have been given the resources and support to prepare. And so, in the midst of this, although there are a number of 'futures', and we do not know which to expect, we're pretty ready for them all.

DISCIPLING

The Pastoral and Student support teams that Allie set up are fully self-managing and so she has, for now, stepped out of the school. So how are we discipling? Are we?

For now, one of the biggest ways that we try to disciple is to model Godly behaviour. Through hard work and servant leadership.

One Friday the staff and I received some strange looks. Inspired by the ways YWAM teams have blessed us in the past, we picked up shovels and paint brushes and set about sprucing the school up. To glorify God through hard work and stewardship of resources...and to set an example to the students. I was on a team removing piles of rubble from the front of the Infant School and using it to repair the roads. Back-breaking work in searing heat...but rewarding, bonding and a conspicuous example of hard work and service....even by a white man!

And every day my job, and our lives here, give me huge and complex challenges. How I respond to them, how I'm seen to respond to them, is one of the most important roles I have here. Leading consistently, with patience, grace, good humour, diligence, high standards, urgency, integrity, fun, planning, flexibility, perspective, a work/life balance, humility, authority, responsibility and wisdom is exhausting. But I know that all 750+ staff and students, and some parents too, are influenced by how I lead. How I lead sets the standard for how they should behave now and how they will lead in the future. And Godly leadership is so vital to this country's future.

I make mistakes...often...but how I admit them and deal with them, is one of the most important things to teach. 

EDUCATING

The staff at the school continue to look for ways to improve standards in the school. IGCSE and A-level exams loom.

We had a a visiting humanities teacher, from the UK, who, amongst other things, spent some time with our candidate students. And we hope God will make clear whether she should join the school next year!

One thing that still challenges us is English. We are an English school in a francophone country. Most staff and students are second language English speakers. Our students tend to be orally fluent, but their written English lets them down in exams. However, a meeting with the British Council recently raised the possibility of a partnership that would provide support for our students and begin offering English language learning to locals. This is a very exciting possibility, but would come at a cost to parents. Much prayer needed.

BILLS, BLESSINGS AND THE SUMMER

So far, this year, we have enjoyed relative financial security. Our daily bread has been provided and we've been able to deal with some unexpected costs. The roads here are brutal on cars, security upgrades significantly costly and our 'new' house in the UK is now less new and needing repairs. But we have been so blessed by God's provision, peoples' response and the way our support grows.

But as we look to the summer break, we still have a lot of costs to cover including:

- Food

- Fuel

- Medical Insurance

- A year's worth of clothes

- A year's worth of medicine

- A year's worth of toiletries 

- Christmas and birthdays

- Vaccinations

- Opticians

- Dentists 

- Extra education material for the kids

- Debriefing

- And maybe a day out or two

Please pray that our support will grow ahead of the summer.

SO...

...life remains challenging and rewarding. We regularly feel like giving up and getting on a plane...but so far we haven't. We know that this is where God wants us, so we are obedient...though sometimes without good grace. Sorry. So every day I try to focus on the blessings and His faithfulness

God Bless,

Jeremy